Summer Heat…Evaluating Dress-Code

Last weekend was a scorcher! It was nice to have a day full of sunshine and heat (especially after several weekends of unseasonably cool temperatures)! Just like your favorite four legged friend sheds as summer approaches, it seems that some of the students that attend our youth group do the same.

We have an interesting demographic at our church because approximately 50% of our students come to our youth group without the support of their parents and without any church background. We have always followed a distraction policy. Unless a student is “hanging out” or wearing something see-through we do not comment initially. Our hope is that the student will get to the place where they develop relationships with other students, adult volunteers, and ultimately God. I am convinced that through those relationships life change will happen and the dress issue will take care of itself.

I sent this issue out to some youth ministers via email. Check out some of their responses…

- Aaron Thomas - "Well, it’s 85 in January out here and the West Coast is…let’s say, a little more liberal in their dress. I have quite a diverse crowd at youth, about 40% churched students and 60% very unchurched (which is my target audience). If I see a churched girl dressed like a hooker, I’m going to tell her that. However, unchurched students should “come as they are” and once I feel there is a trust and connection there, I (with a female leader present) will address her clothing."

– Tim Schmoyer - "Personally, I require that girls wear one-piece bathing suits or wear a non-white shirt on top of a two-piece suit. Other than that, it's kinda like an ambiguous distraction policy. If it's distracting to me or someone else by diverting attention away from the point of the meeting (like, a Bible study or something), then it's addressed. I'm not really a fan of legalistic "skirts no shorter than 6 inches above the knees" sorta rules.

However, unchurched students are a different story. I like Aaron's response. It's a good principle to follow, depending on how far you allow the "come as they are" thing to go. There are some lines that just must be drawn even for unchurched kids. Like, is a bra-less girl wearing a see-through t-shirt acceptable? I think I'd address that one right away even if she's straight off the street. It's not too much to expect students to follow certain rules. That's just a part of life: school has rules, families have them, even driving on the roads have rules. I want to create an environment where students' attention is drawn to the Lord, so if someone's inappropriate dress or behavior is severely hindering that, I'm going to address it. There's a difference between criticizing someone's dress and criticizing them personally. I think most students can tell the difference."

So... What do you think?